Effort of Compassion
Hello, Blogisphere... I admit it has been too long since I wrote down anything of what goes through my head for public view. But as a writer, my ultimate goal in life is to be read! So, let's jump right in, shall we?
I'd like to kick off this venture by addressing something close to my heart: Compassion for those we consider family.
Now, I am not just referring to blood relatives here, though of course, many are close with their relations and are blessed to be so. I am not one of them; many of mine are dead or no longer speaking to me. But I have not let this pull me down, and that is not really the point. There are many forms of the word, "family", though. I proudly and gratefully count myself among those who have found familial love in the hearts of those I have met in school, at work, and on the street. Life's journey has connected me with a chosen few whose existence is invaluable to me. I am an uncle to their children, bear my soul to them at all hours of the night, and can kick back to enjoy a good movie.
These links I've created in my life I could not do without.
That is why it irks me (and here, I get to the meat of the subject) when those we love refuse point-blank to help us in a time of need. There is frustration and grief, I know, when people whine and complain about how difficult life is. I do not refer to a refusal to lend a hand when it is clear they only seek attention. And there are people like that in the world, I won't deny it (because I know people like that - who only reach out when they want something).
What I mean is, helping a loved one when they are sick or in other dire straits. Denying your brother or your sister, a grandmother or a niece, when they reach out? It is unacceptable in my opinion. I refer here to a multitude of possibilities. But what I'd really like to address is this example:
Earlier today I was on the phone with a friend who claimed to have a headache. It was a brief call. She had heard I was ill and wished to know how I was. I noticed how grouchy she sounded, so I asked her what was going on. When she explained that she had been dealing with a massive headache (she's dealt with them off and on for years) I said, "Why don't you take something?" A simple, direct, and perhaps obvious response, but there it is.
May I add here, that I was fully ready to purchase some Tylenol or Ibuprofen for her myself, but cannot drive due to physical disability.
She proceeded to tell me that she had run out of over-the-counter painkiller, and that the ache was too strong for her to drive safely. This made sense to me; I didn't want her to risk making things worse by possibly ending up in a wreck. So then I asked about her various family members who live with her, and why they had not yet run to the drugstore on her behalf.
Her response was something along the lines of, "Dad's asleep, and my brother does not want to pry himself away from his video game." Or something to that effect. Honestly, I didn't really care about the reason, it seemed ridiculous to me. Ridiculous that someone my friend loved, who was ABLE BODIED, could not get off their butt and make a five minute run to the drug store. That made me angry! Where was the effort? Where was this guy's compassion, especially when he knew she'd suffered headaches this bad before?
Now, I know siblings bicker and can be absolutely sour toward one another throughout their life. I have a younger brother myself. Here is the thing though: As mature adults, shouldn't petty disputes fall away to aid someone you love? And really, I'm not just talking about siblings, here. Having any sort of disagreement, and allowing it to blind you to the needs of anyone you claim to love, especially when they are reaching out... In my opinion, that's lame.
Life may move fast, bringing changes with it that cause people to come and go. But to me, that is all the more reason to show you care whenever you can.
I'd like to kick off this venture by addressing something close to my heart: Compassion for those we consider family.
Now, I am not just referring to blood relatives here, though of course, many are close with their relations and are blessed to be so. I am not one of them; many of mine are dead or no longer speaking to me. But I have not let this pull me down, and that is not really the point. There are many forms of the word, "family", though. I proudly and gratefully count myself among those who have found familial love in the hearts of those I have met in school, at work, and on the street. Life's journey has connected me with a chosen few whose existence is invaluable to me. I am an uncle to their children, bear my soul to them at all hours of the night, and can kick back to enjoy a good movie.
These links I've created in my life I could not do without.
That is why it irks me (and here, I get to the meat of the subject) when those we love refuse point-blank to help us in a time of need. There is frustration and grief, I know, when people whine and complain about how difficult life is. I do not refer to a refusal to lend a hand when it is clear they only seek attention. And there are people like that in the world, I won't deny it (because I know people like that - who only reach out when they want something).
What I mean is, helping a loved one when they are sick or in other dire straits. Denying your brother or your sister, a grandmother or a niece, when they reach out? It is unacceptable in my opinion. I refer here to a multitude of possibilities. But what I'd really like to address is this example:
Earlier today I was on the phone with a friend who claimed to have a headache. It was a brief call. She had heard I was ill and wished to know how I was. I noticed how grouchy she sounded, so I asked her what was going on. When she explained that she had been dealing with a massive headache (she's dealt with them off and on for years) I said, "Why don't you take something?" A simple, direct, and perhaps obvious response, but there it is.
May I add here, that I was fully ready to purchase some Tylenol or Ibuprofen for her myself, but cannot drive due to physical disability.
She proceeded to tell me that she had run out of over-the-counter painkiller, and that the ache was too strong for her to drive safely. This made sense to me; I didn't want her to risk making things worse by possibly ending up in a wreck. So then I asked about her various family members who live with her, and why they had not yet run to the drugstore on her behalf.
Her response was something along the lines of, "Dad's asleep, and my brother does not want to pry himself away from his video game." Or something to that effect. Honestly, I didn't really care about the reason, it seemed ridiculous to me. Ridiculous that someone my friend loved, who was ABLE BODIED, could not get off their butt and make a five minute run to the drug store. That made me angry! Where was the effort? Where was this guy's compassion, especially when he knew she'd suffered headaches this bad before?
Now, I know siblings bicker and can be absolutely sour toward one another throughout their life. I have a younger brother myself. Here is the thing though: As mature adults, shouldn't petty disputes fall away to aid someone you love? And really, I'm not just talking about siblings, here. Having any sort of disagreement, and allowing it to blind you to the needs of anyone you claim to love, especially when they are reaching out... In my opinion, that's lame.
Life may move fast, bringing changes with it that cause people to come and go. But to me, that is all the more reason to show you care whenever you can.
Oh, that makes me so mad! Not only is it disrespectful and discourteous to the sister, but it's also taking his lack of disabilities for granted. Someone needs to check his privilege!
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