The Social Anxiety of an Anxious Writer

*Sighs* Hi, again... The last time I ever considered posting here, it was over two years ago. I suppose that could be a sign I should delete this blog... If I'm not using it, what's the point? But hey, it is here, it is a platform like my YouTube channel, and I feel like writing instead of speaking. So here it goes.

Another post. I have had an interesting four to six weeks. To be honest, I'm not sure how long it has been. But I know I have kept busy running to this appointment or that errand or seeing that friend or meeting this person... I have taken notes for new stories (two to be exact -- thanks, Nanowrimo). Neither are finished and both are at a stand still while I sort out a third project from even longer ago. Note to self: Finish something before you start ANYTHING else! Not... that... I can control where the muse takes me. If I am going to write about a young woman who takes herself for a walk in the woods and loses herself in the divine, metaphysical aspects of Nature in a parallel dimension of magic... Great! If I'm going to follow a young man through the trials and tribulations of college in a life built on heartbreak and a solid work-ethic... Super! Just. Try. To. Get. Something. Completed. Please!

I am a writer. Much as I gripe about finding the time to work or seeking a quiet space in which to sort out my thoughts, I put in the work. I have to. Of course, I go at my own pace. Everyone does. I try to trust myself to make the time above all else on my schedule. Lately, this has meant I shut myself away from my friends without warning. After a few hours, I make a Facebook post about it and then disappear again into the world I am creating. I trust myself to get the work done and I trust those around me to understand if I disappear for a while.

I am here for my friends. I am here because of them. And I could not be happier than when we share with one another. When we work together. We write together, we have fun together, we grow inspired from each other. I find motivation and creation in each of you every single day. I may not always express my thanks or act particularly decent, to be honest. But I want to thank you all for standing by me. Even if you never see this blog, you know who you are. <3

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